Moment in Time

Wandering the old corridors and driving on the familiar streets is eerily foreign.  I feel as though nothing has changed yet everything has changed.  Old friends comment that I look different yet I wear basically the same clothes plus I have the same haircut.  Am I really that much different or is it just that I haven’t seen them in four months?  So much has happened in such a short amount of time that places I used to feel most comfortable have an odd feel to them now.  I no longer feel any connection to what I used to be.  I am just a visitor rather than a homegrown resident.  It is almost like I left for years rather than a few months.  My sense of time and date are so out of sync that for all I know it could be the middle of May rather than the beginning of December or 11am rather than 11:50pm.  I struggle through each day with its highs and lows.  I am trying to be strong and not give in, but most times I am left crippled by the pain.  Lying hopelessly alone, no one is around to comfort me.  I cry out in all my misery and agony for anyone at all, but there is never a response.  I just want to better again; I just want to better for my family, friends, and my love.  I want to be the promising young man they saw blossom before their eyes in years past.  With all the pieces to the puzzle of my life broken and scattered on the floor, I can’t help but feel that I may never be able to put it back together.  Oh what challenges life brings us.  Moments of purity are what I long for.  A moment where the earth stands still and you are filled with eternal happiness.  Moments like that are rare and only happen every so often.  People worth sharing that moment are even harder to find.  While I was blinded by youth’s ignorance I almost let such a person go.  This compassionate soul found me when I was about to give up on life and has changed my life forever.  She has become so much more than a guardian angel and friend.  Oh how I long to be with her.  With kind words she brings me closer to her and with a short but heart felt kiss we are connected for a moment in time that shall never be forgotten.   As the night grew older and I held her hand in mine and she rested her head on my shoulder, a moment, which I have been searching for, occurred.  Time stood still for just one moment, but it was just long enough for me to know that this woman is truly amazing.