I do not know if it is dark or light outside anymore. I have just become accustomed to saying good morning to the night. These words the fill this page are a direct window into my soul. They are the sleepless demons that surround me. They are the phantoms of suffering which want me dread. My mind is a cell where I am trapped and I have no elaborate scheme to initiate my escape. My gift is my curse; my genius is misunderstood. Each day I live fosters more demons for me to be ravaged by. I wonder what hell is like? I wonder if it is anywhere close to what I feel some days? Can I ever rid myself of this parasite? Do I know some truth that others miss? Or have I already lost control over my mind? Can better days be on the horizon? Life feels long while we live it, but short when we think about it. Long nights of sleepless thought have provided me some truth. The truth is that life is not short or long. It is in fact not anything connected with time. Life is what drives us to just survive. To live is to be. To die is to be forgotten. The mind tells us that things are passing slowly or quickly when it really hasn’t. To think of life is to avoid death. Death shall unshackle us from the chains of biased or tainted reason. Wisdom cannot be attained until we have gone. Life is spent on frivolous activities, which drag us along until we are six feet under. If we can just master the mind and look into the soul we will find pure truth. The truth shall set our minds free. Upon death we shall smile, because that light that finally leads us from the darkness will bring upon us what we have always been seeking. I am not so sure what I really want from this life. The constant lies have brought me down long enough and I want the truth. Inner peace is what I seek, so I hope my journey will lead me there; sooner rather than later.
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